Quote of the Day
Paraphrased from a line I read in the current issue of Parenting: “Look at the wear and tear your kids have made on your couches. Imagine what they’ve done to your marriage.”
(P.S. That’s Carson (now 2 and a half) at age 7 months, with his favorite book on the couch, well love seat (but who calls them love seats anymore, really?!). The poor couch has taken a mega beating.)
Liz
Aw that is a precious picture and a very insightful quote!
Leah
New to this blog…just found it the other day. It’s a pleasant break to read it. Interesting quote. VERY interesting, since I’m about to fall off the fence on the side of trying for a baby. What’s keeping me on the fence is the very quote stated in this post! I’m really afraid of “losing” the incredible relationship I have with my SO. We have it so good. I know having a child, statistically and anecdotally is known to cause strain, LOTS of strain, even on the BEST of marriages/relationships. Any advice? BTW, photo/Carson is super darling.
admin
Hi Liz! Thanks for stopping by. And, Leah–I hear you…it’s such a tough decision. They are worth it a million times over, of course, but kids do change things (the understatement of the century). Yes, lots of strain, even on the best marriages. My theory is this: Hang on tight and try to love each other as much as you can amid the chaos of the first 3 years (these are the hardest–I’m in the thick of it), and then things lighten up a bit as the kids become a bit more independent and you have more time to reconnect. 🙂 Good luck with your decision. Tell me how it goes in the months ahead. xo, Sarah
Leah
It’s good to hear that it is a tough decision! In modern times, we have the “luxury” of thoughtful decision, vs. thoughtlessly following biological and societal imperatives — but the luxury is not without its pitfalls. My SO and I have had many discussions, and it boils down to: Fear of the Unknown. We intellectually know the “tangible” wear it will take (financial, time, relationship impact, hormonal, emotional, etc.), but we have no idea about what the “million” joys are that you mention (the “intangibles”) because we’ve never experienced them — we don’t have a child (yet)! And then there is the fear that I won’t bond, I’ll be a terrible mother, etc., etc. I’ve always said that having a child is throwing sane thinking to the wind. It’s a purely emotional, irrational decision — I think it’s meant to be. I thank you for your honesty and advice and good wishes, Sarah. I will indeed keep you posted…!